The Bellman himself they all praised to the skies--
     Such a carriage, such ease andsuch grace!
Such solemnity, too!  One could see he was wise,
     The moment one looked in hisface!

He had bought a large map representing the sea,
     Without the least vestige ofland:
And the crew were much pleased when they found it tobe
     A map they could all understand.

"What's the good of Mercator's North Poles and Equators,
     Tropics, Zones, and MeridianLines?"
So the Bellman would cry: and the crew would reply
     "They are merely conventionalsigns!

"Other maps are such shapes, with their islands and capes!
     But we've got our brave Captainto thank:
(So the crew would protest) "that he's bought us thebest--
     A perfect and absolute blank!"

This was charming, no doubt; but they shortly found out
     That the Captain they trustedso well
Had only one notion for crossing the ocean,
     And that was to tingle his bell.

He was thoughtful and grave--but the orders he gave
     Were enough to bewilder a crew.
When he cried "Steer to starboard, but keep her headlarboard!"
     What on earth was the helmsmanto do?

Then the bowsprit got mixed with the rudder sometimes:
     A thing, as the Bellman remarked,
That frequently happens in tropical climes,
     When a vessel is, so to speak,"snarked."

But the principal failing occurred in the sailing,
     And the Bellman, perplexed anddistressed,
Said he had hoped, at least, when the wind blew due East,
     That the ship would not traveldue West!

But the danger was past--they had landed at last,
     With their boxes, portmanteaus,and bags:
Yet at first sight the crew were not pleased with theview,
     Which consisted to chasms andcrags.

The Bellman perceived that their spirits were low,
     And repeated in musical tone
Some jokes he had kept for a season of woe--
     But the crew would do nothingbut groan.

He served out some grog with a liberal hand,
     And bade them sit down on thebeach:
And they could not but own that their Captain lookedgrand,
     As he stood and delivered hisspeech.

"Friends, Romans, and countrymen, lend me your ears!"
     (They were all of them fondof quotations:
So they drank to his health, and they gave him threecheers,
     While he served out additionalrations).

"We have sailed many months, we have sailed many weeks,
     (Four weeks to the month youmay mark),
But never as yet ('tis your Captain who speaks)
     Have we caught the least glimpseof a Snark!

"We have sailed many weeks, we have sailed many days,
     (Seven days to the week I allow),
But a Snark, on the which we might lovingly gaze,
     We have never beheld till now!

"Come, listen, my men, while I tell you again
     The five unmistakable marks
By which you may know, wheresoever you go,
     The warranted genuine Snarks.

"Let us take them in order.  The first is the taste,
     Which is meager and hollow,but crisp:
Like a coat that is rather too tight in the waist,
     With a flavor of Will-o-the-wisp.

"Its habit of getting up late you'll agree
     That it carries too far, whenI say
That it frequently breakfasts at five-o'clock tea,
     And dines on the following day.

"The third is its slowness in taking a jest.
     Should you happen to ventureon one,
It will sigh like a thing that is deeply distressed:
     And it always looks grave ata pun.

"The fourth is its fondness for bathing-machines,
     Which is constantly carriesabout,
And believes that they add to the beauty of scenes--
     A sentiment open to doubt.

"The fifth is ambition.  It next will be right
     To describe each particularbatch:
Distinguishing those that have feathers, and bite,
     And those that have whiskers,and scratch.

"For, although common Snarks do no manner of harm,
     Yet, I feel it my duty to say,
Some are Boojums--" The Bellman broke off in alarm,
     For the Baker had fainted away.
 

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